Counterfeit Confidence

“The world tries to tell you that confidence comes from comparison, by having more money, more things, more talents, or more intelligence than someone else. This is counterfeit confidence. Real confidence comes from understanding innately who you are.”

So often I define myself and my worth from how good I am at things …and usually I measure that goodness in comparison to others. To be good at something really means to be better at it than a lot of people. It is seldom enough to be better than I was yesterday, I need to be better than someone else is today. When I’m not, I let it effect how I feel about myself and this needs to stop.

Now I’m not saying its bad to work to be great at something, or to strive to be an expert in your field, but when you let that comparison effect your confidence or your worth as an individual, we have a problem.

As I listened to those words (from the pulpit a week or two ago)  I glimpsed what confidence that truly stems from a knowledge of who you are, as a child of the loving God would be like. And in that vision it didn’t matter where I went to grad school, or how well I can play (or can’t play now) the piano. My confidence or lack thereof didn’t come from my GPA, my last name, or my jean size. This doesn’t mean I don’t work for good grades, practice the piano, or try to stay fit – it just means that my happiness, my worth, and my confidence don’t come from comparing myself in these things to others.

What matters is that I am working at being the best version of me, and that along the way I remember where I came from, why I’m here, and where I’m going.
 
I love this.
And I need to work on it.

Where does your confidence come from? 

8 Comments

  1. Great points! It's so easy to get caught up in comparing ourselves, especially since we see more about everyone else's lives than ever before (Via facebook, pinterest, etc.). I definitely agree with you; it needs to come from self-improvement not from exceeding everyone else. The truth is, there will always be someone that is better than us. We just have to remember that there is no one else that can be just us. Thanks for this great reminder! =]

  2. Great points! It's so easy to get caught up in comparing ourselves, especially since we see more about everyone else's lives than ever before (Via facebook, pinterest, etc.). I definitely agree with you; it needs to come from self-improvement not from exceeding everyone else. The truth is, there will always be someone that is better than us. We just have to remember that there is no one else that can be just us. Thanks for this great reminder! =]

  3. That's beautifully said. And it is the truth. I remember reading something Solomon said in the Old Testament about how a lot of sin starts from comparing oneself and trying to outdo or keep up with what their neighbor has. It was something like that.

    When I read that I realized that is the truth and it's infected the whole human race. When you get free of that it's the most freeing thing ever to be able to just enjoy what God has given you. That's not to say if you are in a bad situation that you don't work hard to improve your circumstances, but you take pride and happiness in what he has gifted you for your life.

    Thanks for writing this.

  4. You're amazing. I loved this post. My confidence honestly gets a boost from my husband. His encouraging words just make me feel better about myself all around!

  5. This is an amazing post. I really needed to hear this right now, which is sad to admit. In the uncertain stage of life of a young married college student it is so hard not to compare yourself to others. I find myself doing it constantly whether it is about grades, apparent spare time, or the ability to get a good job or internship. Going to a university with so many extraordinary people makes it hard not to compare.

    Luckily, my husband and friends (you included!) are so great and give me just the kinds of pep-talks I need to hear 🙂

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