Rethinking the Dopamine Hit: Why I’m Saying No to Shopping as Self-Care

Rethinking the Dopamine Hit: Why I’m Saying No to Shopping as Self-Care

I love a dopamine hit from a new sweater as much as the next girl. So let me be clear—this is coming from a place of contemplation, not judgment. I’m here with you, in the trenches, trying to figure out where it actually makes sense to spend our money and our energy.

Lately, I’ve been noticing something: I’m far more content with my wardrobe, my home, and honestly, my whole life when I spend less time on social media. It makes sense, right? Every time I open Instagram, I’m met with a curated feed of beautiful things I don’t have (but would love—thank you, algorithm).

But here’s where it really hit me.

The Lesson from My Kid

My son is in a phase where he wants me to print him something new every single day. Maps, mazes, coloring pages—he is delighted. What’s funny is that he prefers these simple black-and-white pages over the full-color, expensive books and puzzles I’ve bought him.

One day, he looked at me and said,
“Mom, it’s not that I don’t like my toys. I just get used to them and then I want something else to like.”

Cue my long-winded monologue about gratitude and how happiness in life will be determined by our ability to appreciate what we already have instead of always needing something new.

And then it hit me: I could just as easily be saying that to myself.

Shopping Is Fun—But Is It Actually Self-Care?

For a while, shopping was my treat at the end of a hard day. A little pick-me-up. Something just for me. But over time, I started noticing that the quick high of buying something new didn’t lead to lasting satisfaction.

If anything, the more clothes I accumulated, the less satisfied I felt with my wardrobe. The messier my closet became. The more overwhelmed I felt trying to keep it all organized. The harder it was to decide what to wear.

More options didn’t mean more peace—it meant more mental clutter.

So I’m starting to reject shopping as self-care. It’s not a fix that lasts. It doesn’t inspire gratitude or contentment. It doesn’t make me feel more present or joyful in my life.

And frankly? It creates more work than it solves.

The Culture of Constant Consumption

Somewhere along the way, we’ve normalized buying something online every couple of days. A new outfit every month. A closet refresh every season.

But I keep thinking back to when I was a kid. Back to school shopping was a big deal. That once-a-year trip with my mom to pick out a few special outfits—it was memorable and exciting, because it wasn’t something we did often.

We got a Christmas dress, maybe an Easter dress, a replacement pair of shoes when the old ones wore out—and that was it.

What if I went back to that? What if I shopped like that again?

What I’d Be Saying No To

• Scrolling sales out of boredom
• Chasing every new product launch
• Following creators who subtly (or not so subtly) make me feel like I need more
• Microtrends and fast fashion pieces that won’t last past one season

And What I’d Be Saying Yes To

• More mental space
• A more peaceful, functional closet
• More money in our savings account
• More time to explore other forms of self-care that truly fill me up—a bubble bath, a book in bed, journaling, a walk outside, a lit candle at the end of a long day

And here’s the thing—I still believe in style.

I still believe in the power of getting dressed and the concept of enclothed cognition—the idea that what we wear can influence how we feel, how we show up, and even how we perform. A great outfit can help us step into our roles with more confidence and clarity, whether that’s as a mom, a business owner, a friend, or a partner.

So this isn’t about giving up on style. It’s about curating a closet that supports the life I want—not one that adds noise to it.

I’m learning that getting dressed can still be joyful, empowering, and intentional… without needing to constantly add more to my cart.