What makes a marriage work

celebrating on the beach the day before our wedding – August 2011

Last week I had the chance to watch a cute couple reminiscine about their vows while doing some service. They were about seventy and the tender look as they gazed in each others eyes held so many decades of sincere love. There was so much care and emotion in the single look that I felt intrusive just glancing over. I want that. Fifty years from now I want to look at Ben with more love that I do right now.

How will we do it though? With so many marriages in this world failing, it begs the question, “What makes it work?”

Awhile back I asked my sweet grandparents for some advice. They have been married for over sixty years, raised six children, and are two of the happiest, kindest people that I know. They talked about the importance of faith and of putting God first and then my grandma told me:

“We have always worked together and supported one another.  I think that is perhaps our strongest point. Marriage is not always 50-50, sometimes its 60-40 , etc.  As long as you love each other and are sensitive to each others needs life is wonderful. “

Life can be wonderful. I’m thankful for such profound examples of selflessness and love in my life. I have grandparents that love each other, parents that are committed to each other, and dozens of aunts, uncles, and cousins that show me what marriage can be like. But, even if I didn’t – even if you don’t – marriage is what you make of it. You determine if you’ll be gazing into each other’s eyes five decades from now. The two of you can choose to make life wonderful. 

From when they were visiting earlier this month šŸ™‚ 
Who are your role models for marriages?
What do you think it takes to make a marriage last? 


  1. cutest little grandparents.
    i want to be like them.
    so cute and in love.
    they are so smart!


  2. What a beautiful thing your Grandparents have! Great post! I will strive for this in my marriage too.


  3. How sweet!! My parents have been married for 28 years and Nick's have been married for 31 I think. We have great role models! It looks like you do too! šŸ™‚

  4. What a beautiful example in your life!! Thats such a blessing!
    Thanks so much for sharing their wise words =)
    I would have to agree that my role models were also my grandparents, my grandma took care of her husband until the day he died last year. Such a beautiful example of love and leaning on the Lord for all their needs.
    Thanks for such an encouraging post!
    Much Love girl!

  5. Such good advice…. I feel like sometimes people think everything needs to be split right down the middle to make a marriage work but I don't really think that's the case.

  6. Cute! You are lucky to still have living grandparents! I never talked to mine about marriage since the last one died when I was 13.

    I like the advice they gave you though. šŸ™‚

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