Its been a long six months – sometimes its hard to remember life before Ben, even if it actually wasn’t so long ago. To everyone else its been a very short six months, a mere six months, – they tell me I’m crazy, or ask with concerned looks if I know what I’m doing. My answer:
I don’t. I’ve never been in love like this before. I’ve never gotten married before. I’ve never had a husband before. I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.
What I do know:
I love Ben more than anything in this world. Sometimes its a very selfish love and I just want him here with me because I need him – but its also a selfless love. Its a love that’s changed me in ways I didn’t know loving another person could. It makes me not only better at loving him but better at loving others, better at serving others, better at wanting to be better for him and for Him and for others.
I do know that we’re in it for the long run. I know that we’ll have struggles (people seem to enjoy telling me that marriage isn’t easy) – but I’ve heard that marriage is hard if you work at it easy and its easy if you work at it hard. We know it will be work, I’ve already started to understand that a little bit … but with the hardest work comes the sweetest of joys, and I’ve already started to understand that a little bit too.
I know that marriage is a beautiful thing. I know that it is an essential thing. It is essential to a healthy society, to raising children, to maximum personal growth, to full happiness. I know that the decision to marry and who to marry is possibly the most important single decision I have ever made, or will ever make. I am grateful, so grateful, for the strength and peace that comes from knowing that this is the right decision, that Ben is the best decision I’ve made.