Today you just get some of my ramblings:
Yesterday was a good day. I exercised, I spent a solid couple of hours studying (I need to finish these last two classes at some point), I made good money, I put walnuts and pecans into my chocolate chip cookies, and I laughed with Ben.
This whole “not having a real schedule” thing has been hard for me (and yes, I recognize its hard in a very first-world-problem, very blessed, and very not actually difficult kind of way). There are few deadlines, no due dates, and very little pressure. At the beginning of the summer this was wonderful. After four years of 17 credits and working part time, it was a welcomed break. I slept more than 7 hours for the first time in awhile, I made time for exercise, and for the first time in our marriage our apartment is more often clean than not. Five months later though, its getting old.
I think I’m putting off these last two classes because once they’re done, I’m a college graduate and I’m supposed to know what I want to do with my life. By then I should have decided a career path, when to have kids, and who I want to be. I feel like I’m clinging to my last little bit of childhood, or immaturity, or something, because when you’ve graduated from college you’re a grown up, and you have to behave like one.
Political Science and International Relations were amazing in college. I loved my classes, my peers, and my professors. After four years though (and living in Cincinnati), I’m not seeing much of it in my future. Its like being back at square one, except instead of with picking a major, I’m now choosing the rest of my life. overdramatic, yes, I know.
And now I’m off to an afternoon of flashcards. I will dominate this midterm, even if it means I’m one step closer to growing up.