I have found myself recently pinched by this little green bug, jealousy. It really surprised me.
Now don’t get me wrong:
When I saw Brooke in these adorable white pants, I wanted some.
When I see Sarahjane’s house perfectly clean and decorated, I wish I could keep mine like that.
When I see the delicious meals Hayley cooks, I hope I can get to that.
But those are petty desires, wishful thinking, and inspired aspirations.
What I’m talking about here is a deep pang of not-so-healthy and thankfully oh-so-rare jealousy.It has only involved one gorgeous wedding shoot and one world traveler. But jeez – did it get me for a minute. It was only a minute because irrationally – yeah, their lives are awesome and I would love to have been in 43 different countries this summer. But rationally, I wouldn’t give up what I have for anything else. My life isn’t better (or worse I’d argue) than theirs, but for me, its everything.
I have had the chance to fall into a love that many will spend a life time searching for.
I have relationships with my family members that bring me to tears.
I have a God who knows me, loves me, and who has a grand design for me.
And somehow I am lucky enough to build that, have that, and know that.
So yes, someday I hope I get those truly breathtaking ocean shots of me and my husband. And certainly I hope that I can double my country count in the next twenty years. But, its not just being okay with the life I have right now, its loving all of it. How lucky am I to share these last college years with Ben? To make memories in our 400 square foot apartment? How fun is it to splurge on 50 cent icecream cones (and on 80 dollar anniversary dinners). Nothing will replace the late night conversations speculating about where we’ll be in five years. Nothing beats summer afternoons in the mountains.
Here’s to embracing life, whatever it may be right now, and loving it.