Jealousy

I have found myself recently pinched by this little green bug, jealousy. It really surprised me.

Now don’t get me wrong:
When I saw Brooke in these adorable white pants, I wanted some.
When I see Sarahjane’s house perfectly clean and decorated, I wish I could keep mine like that.
When I see the delicious meals Hayley cooks, I hope I can get to that.

But those are petty desires, wishful thinking, and inspired aspirations.

What I’m talking about here is a deep pang of not-so-healthy and thankfully oh-so-rare jealousy.It has only involved one gorgeous wedding shoot and one world traveler. But jeez – did it get me for a minute. It was only a minute because irrationally – yeah, their lives are awesome and I would love to have been in 43 different countries this summer. But rationally, I wouldn’t give up what I have for anything else. My life isn’t better (or worse I’d argue) than theirs, but for me, its everything.

I have had the chance to fall into a love that many will spend a life time searching for.
I have relationships with my family members that bring me to tears.
I have a God who knows me, loves me, and who has a grand design for me.
And somehow I am lucky enough to build that, have that, and know that.

So yes, someday I hope I get those truly breathtaking ocean shots of me and my husband. And certainly I hope that I can double my country count in the next twenty years. But, its not just being okay with the life I have right now, its loving all of it. How lucky am I to share these last college years with Ben? To make memories in our 400 square foot apartment? How fun is it to splurge on 50 cent icecream cones (and on 80 dollar anniversary dinners). Nothing will replace the late night conversations speculating about where we’ll be in five years. Nothing beats summer afternoons in the mountains.

Here’s to embracing life, whatever it may be right now, and loving it.

22 Comments

  1. This post really spoke to me this morning…all too often I find myself wrapped up in envy and jealousy. Truth be told I have a pretty good life and it's past time I start being thankful for it. Thank-you so much for being willing to share this with us!

  2. This is a beautiful post. I think we all fall into that little bit of jealousy occasionally. But sometimes, living in a situation like the one you're in [an amusingly similar situation to how my husband and I spent our first two years], makes your stories the best ones. Traveling is wonderful, but loving in humble beginnings is beautiful. Keep up the lovely posts!

  3. 1. I am flattered and you are way too sweet, and
    2. You are amazing and have so many great qualities. We all get jealous sometimes but I wish I could be as cute and NICE as you are. You don't have a mean bone in your body and I admire it so much. šŸ™‚

  4. I have a hard time when people are further along in life and have things that I want now, but can't have. It's hard.

  5. What a beautiful post and how true. Think everyone feels that way at some point or another.

  6. You are so cute. Stop flattering me. I have a slight obsession with home decor so I just can't help it šŸ™‚ come visit now!!!

  7. Well said! Thanks so much for stopping by my blog…following you back:)

  8. such a great reminder for everyone. jealously gets us nowhere.

    also, fifty cent ice cream cones? WHERE?!

  9. Um…YES. THank you so much! I think I experienced this same thing literally a week ago. After all, after having all those things you "could" have…that still wouldn't bring you happiness! THanks for this reminder.

  10. This is great!! I have to admit, I get bitten by the green bug of jealousy every so often too. I think about how much fun it would be to just take a trip, and how I'm tied to home and can't. But then I think about why I can't – my wonderful son and husband – and I'm thrilled to pieces! I wouldn't trade them in for a passport with 100 stamps on it!

  11. I really find it to be a challenge to NOT feel that way as a blogger – I find that everyone else's lives seem that much more exciting than mine. But I love your statements about focusing on the things you feel grateful for – it's a good reminder for all of us to do the same!

  12. Your post is so sweet! Some of my favorite memories are of me and my husband together in our little tiny basement apartment. We've definitely moved on from their but I still miss it sometimes šŸ™

    Thank you for stopping by my blog. It's so nice to meet other people in Utah.

    Im your newest follower

    XOXO Tiffany
    http://www.mymakeupboxes.blogspot.com

  13. Nice post! And it's an important issue. I guess there's a certain amount of happiness and pain in everybody's lives, no matter how things appear to be. There is the expression "the grass is always greener on the other side". It is the focus on "the other side" that makes us unsatisfied. I know people that have (in material sense) much more than I do, but they don't feel happy with it, and therefore, they won't have even 1/10 of the good moments that I do. Moreover they say "don't miss your bus, staring at another man's Benz". Yes, be grateful that you're here, wherever you are and you never know where your bus is taking you :))) xoxo

  14. Hey, thanks for stopping by! I absolutely love this post! I'm a new follower as well. I hope you guys have a great week!

  15. OH GIRL!! GOOD FOR YOU!!! Jealousy plagued me for my first ten years of marriage! My, how I wish I could have understood what you already get! Everyone's lives are so different and sometimes we see things and wish our path included their "path", whether that be a wedding shoot, a nice clean house, or world traveling! Facebook is a tough one, because everyone's lives seem so perfect digitally! HA! My husband and I lived in a 400 square foot house with our two kids last year when we first moved to Jersey. Girl. It. Was. Tough. A screaming baby only 5 feet away in a room with paper thin walls in the middle of the night? Not-so-fun. But, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Your marriage will stand the test of time because you will know what have-not and have means. I believe you will have a depth in your marriage that others might never experience if not forced to live in not-so-perfect circumstances. You get it. And you are blessed for that! (And our ugly little one bedroom apartment we lived in as newlyweds? Sometimes I wish we could go back just for a day and soak in those fleeting moments without wishing it away for "better" things!) Sorry for the long comment. This just struck a cord, girl!

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