There are about seven hundred and eighty three things I should be doing right now. But instead of putting Lincoln down after he fell asleep at the bottle for his second nap, I held that sweet little boy, his fingers clenched in a small fist around part of my shirt. I will miss these days. The ones where I can hold him through naps if I want to, the ones where I can hold him at all. I think he’ll always be my baby, but when he’s seventeen I imagine his napping preferences will have changed. And while I may be better rested sixteen and a half years from now, I’ll still miss it.
There are so many things I want to remember, to soak up, to capture of life this minute, this week, this season with our sweet boy. Like the way he rocks back on his knees, about to start crawling. Or the way his face lights up when we smile at him and he giggles to hold your attention. Then there’s the quickened breaths when he catches himself in the mirror and thinks he’s found a friend to play with. And the way that grin breaks across his face when I swing him up in a dance around the living room.
My mom mentioned this weekend while she was in town again that its neat to watch your children grow up, realizing that they have always been them. That the seventeen year old boy is the same as the six month old, that their personality has always been there. Its made me wonder what parts of Lincoln we’ll look back on and remember as early signs of who he is. Surely his constant energy and his need for action will be there in the years to come (which makes those nap time snuggles all the more precious because this baby would rather look at everything in a room than snuggle into my shoulder these days). I wonder if his fascination with paintings and patterns means we’ll be appreciating art in museums together, or maybe making it at the kitchen table. Will his intrigue at music develop into a passion like his dad’s? And is the soothing effect of my recitation from months of routine or will Lincoln love poetry as much as his mother?
But the laundry just finished. And there are three more loads that need to be done. I haven’t showered in almost a week while my house is mostly clean (thanks mom), my inbox is a disaster. So I’m hoping this nap lasts a bit longer this afternoon, and that he’ll let me hold him to sleep tomorrow too. Because the days might be long and sometimes I may crave a break, but this season with him is short, and I will miss it.
**all photos from this past month taken with my nikon d610 and various lenses – I’m still working on the best way to catalog all my baby pictures. If you have any suggestions, I’m all ears.