1. Have fun together. Remember when you were first dating and you’d do all those fun things? There were creative dates, impromptu dates, romantic dates, free dates – all kinds of dates! You don’t have to stop dating when you get married, and you also don’t have to date to have fun. For example, Ben and I have a family membership to our local climbing gym. Climbing is a way to exercise and also our way of spending time together and developing common interests. Find something you both enjoy and stick to it!
2. Get over yourself. Yes, you’re awesome – but sometimes that doesn’t matter one bit. Selfishness is the biggest cause of divorce. So, get over your pride and apologize. Get over your laziness and do something nice for him. Get over your feelings and realize he didn’t mean to hurt them. Humility doesn’t mean you’re boring, but it does mean you’ll have a stronger relationship.
3. Be honest the right way. Honest and open communication is key. But if you rant to your husband on he’s a terrible person because he did x y and z to you – its probably not going to fix the situation. However, if you kindly explain the way he made you feel when he did x y and z – it might make a difference. I am a huge proponent of “I feel ____ about _____ because______.” Focus on the way that you felt and finding a way to fix it. Use kind tones and open body language. Remember, you’re on the same team. Also remember you love him more than any petty problem.
5. Go to sleep mad. You know how you always hear “Never go to bed mad?” Well, that is different for every couple. The point is you need to find what works for you. You can read and read and ask and ask about relationship advice, but the best person to ask, is the person you’re in it for the long run with. Ask your spouse what works for them and find what works for you. As you honestly and kindly seek to understand and to better serve each other, you’ll be stronger and happier.