2. Or, if packing your schedule isn’t an option, make sure you have no life outside each other. Don’t dare to have different interests and be sure to spend every second of everyday with each other. Don’t maintain old friends or create new ones, you’re all each other needs.
3. When you’re angry, don’t ever think about the reasons you fell in love with him in the first place. Just don’t do it. Focus only on what they did wrong, and then try and remember every other thing they’ve done wrong ever.
4. Anytime you disagree, do it in public. And then, be sure to tell your girlfriends all about it. Any little thing that he does to bother you, dish to them. When you’re back from girl time, mention how good it felt to vent to them about how he’s been bugging you.
6. Always be serious. Never make time for fun and games – you’re married adults now after all and everything you do, every conversation you have should have a serious tone. Never be playful and certainly don’t ever laugh.
7. Never set goals and never celebrate achievements together. He doesn’t need to know what your’e working towards and it is not your job to congratulate him when he accomplishes anything.
8. Instead, spend your time comparing him to other guys. Point out their successes and note his failures. Make this a common thing to do in public (which may result in #4) and remind him of it in private.
10. Remember that you are entitled to your unrealistic expectations. He didn’t unload the dishwasher, bring you flowers for no reason, and get that job promotion today? You have a right to be upset with him. Continue to idealize him and criticize him when he doesn’t live up to it. Never love him for who is or who he is trying to become.
But just in case you thought we were two very grumpy people on a regular basis (I only look like this when I haven’t eaten in over 3.5 hours – yes, I know that is a really short time):
and an outtake: it was hard to take these divorce pictures, just saying