Ben and I have spent quite a bit of time apart since we’ve been married. There was the past three weeks before I joined him here in Cincinnati and these two weeks at home right now, but before that there were two week competitions, visits home, weddings, biking weekends, and job interviews that kept us apart.
I’ve learned a few things: I do far better when I’m the one gone. I don’t like being home alone in the apartment too much, but generally I think we do separate pretty well (by no means as well as we do together ;). There were plenty of newlyweds in Utah who were appalled by the amount of time we spent apart. They told me they would have turned down the opportunities I’d taken so they wouldn’t have to spend that week away from their husband and there were husbands who wouldn’t have spent a weekend with the guys. It makes me wonder a little bit: Why am I so okay jetting off for two weeks in NYC or sending ben off camping with friends? It is certainly not because I love Ben less. And I don’t think I can say it is because I love him more.
How do you measure love then? By how much you need someone? By how much you want someone? By what you would do for someone? Is being in love with someone simply someone you would do anything for that you happen to be attracted to?
Whatever it is, I’m grateful for Ben, his sacrifices, and my frequent trips home this year. Being back in my house surrounded by family almost takes me back to high school, to times before salaries and rent, before insurance and down payments. But, it was also before true love and independence, before nightly sleepovers with my best friend and early morning kisses – and so there will always be another place that I call home.
How long have you and your significant other been apart?
I’d love to hear your thoughts on separation, what’s healthy, and how you manage!